The Holy Book of the Marauders
by peacemakern
Summary: Welcome, our dearest reader, to the secrets of The Marauders!
1. Introduction

The Holy Book of the Marauders

Hello, and welcome to The Holy Book of the Marauders! Since you are sitting here (or there, actually, but don't let us get to grammatically correct) we suppose you are interested in the noble art of pranking. If you aren't, please lay this book gently down and back away slowly, while muttering something strange-sounding under your breath. We are here to show you how to survive the dangerous students and professors at Hogwarts, and yes, we're thinking about you, Filch. We are here to show you how to skip your detentions and not getting caught. We are here to show you how to sneak into the Slytherin common room without anyone notice.  
So, make sure no one's around you, and let's begin!

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs


	2. The pranking

Chapter 1, Pranking

**The planning**

We all know how hard it is to make a good plan. Usually, the plan ends up looking like a piece of shit. Believe us. We know. After years of trying and failing, we can now help you with your plan, and give you some tips on the road. To make the planning easier for you, we now bring you The Plan Planner! Applause Just follow the steps, and you're on the road to success.

Get inspired. Keep in mind that the entire point with pranking is to have fun, not to harm someone, no matter how stupid he or she might is. cough, cough But, there is nothing wrong in using your enemy as an object in a prank. For example, if you get this extremely original idea about coloring someone's hair, and, strange enough, your enemy is the first one you can think of, just do it. But now we're getting off topic here, so, how to get inspired. This can be really hard, and is often the most difficult part when you're a prankster. But, do not despair, for we are here to help you out! If you have problems getting inspired, ask yourself these questions:  
_Are there any upcoming events where I can do some pranking?  
Is it any persons I dislike?  
If so, does he or she deserve some pranking?  
Does he or she have some extremely annoying flaws?  
_These questions might sound stupid, but they work! After you have asked yourself these questions, you are almost bound to get some ideas, so let's move on to the…

Arranging! This is a funny step. You have your idea, and now it's time to organize the prank! Firstly, pranking is much easier if you have a companion. We are four, and almost all of our pranks turned out successful. It's very admirable if you operate solo, but it's so much easier, and fun, if you have a team.  
The first things you have to think of are when/where/who/how. If you don't know the answer to this, then your prank is doomed. If you know the answers to this, then you're almost done! If you're planning a really big prank, then you will of course need some more planning, but you can go far with this.

The pranking! This is the funniest part of the planning, but since you have gotten this far, and this chapter is supposed to deal with the planning, we have to stop right here.

If everything else fails, and you can't seem to plan a decent prank, just face it. Maybe you're not a prankster. If you realize this, please lay this book down and back away slowly while muttering something strange-sounding under your breath. It always works. But if you have a decent plan, and everything seems OK, please follow us into the world of pranking!

**The pranking**

This is where the action starts. The pranking. We live for pranking. So, obviously, we're the perfect teachers when it comes to the noble art of pranking. Since every prank has its own needs, we're just going to tell you some simple rules. These are the golden rules of pranking, and even though we think that rules are made to be broken, this rule does not apply to The Golden Rules of Pranking.

**The Golden Rules of Pranking**

Never prank alone. Unless it's a really small (and probably boring) prank, find an ally. It is so much easier to do bad stuff if you have another one to blame.

Never get caught. This is the most golden of The Golden Rules of Pranking. Never, ever get caught. If you do so, your prank was probably planned wrong. A prank is not complete if you got caught, unless it was a part of the plan, of course, then it's just admirable that someone could be so stupid and planned a prank which involved getting caught.

Stick to the plan. This is especially important if you are a part of a team. The entire prank can be ruined if you don't stick to the plan.

Don't get distracted. This can be difficult if you fancy someone, and the special someone disturbs you while pranking. We got in lot of trouble if Prongs here saw Lily while pranking. If your prank got ruined because someone was drooling over another person, that person is extremely stupid and should be punished.

Have a plan B. This is really important. If your Plan B is simply "run" that's much better than nothing.


End file.
